Krok has come and gone. Krok is not a traditional meal. It is an important paper I have to pass in order to balik Mesia happily.
I’ve never felt the finality much like how it hit me yesterday. Us preparing together to leave the house, Masyitah leading a small dua before on the front step, taking the mashrut together, eventually parting ways to go into our indicated exam halls. All the ups and downs, we had gone through it, yesterday was another hallmark of the great years we’ve experienced here, and again I’m grateful for the beautiful friendship.
Without them, I wouldn’t know how to hold myself after the exam. Maybe it’s just my nerves, or maybe it’s just me acting poyo again (or perhaps ‘kecewi’ according to my loghat utagha expert cousin) but krok bit me hard in the ass. Result will be out only on Friday and goshdurnittoheck if I’m not nervous.
Once it was over, Kak Rika and I trekked to Celenta to grab some lunch. Sitting idly for four hours squashing our brains without nutrition was pure torture. But the blinchik and sprite tasted like paste on my tongue. I even stared at my tall glass of sprite and said ‘If only sprite could numb away the stupidity I feel.’ Hahha. Really. Melodrama at its best. Nothing a sujud syukur can’t remedy. Pengajaran: Go and whine to God first if you don’t want you head to be filled with empty absurd thoughts.
Eid had already made us promise to show up at Divan for dinner so off we went. The company was hilarious: Solhaa with her two-week worth of gossips, so they just overflowed out of her. I had never laughed so much after feeling so depressed like yesterday. See, God works in the most fantastic way. He gives you friends to shoulder you on. Even when your paper was crappy, you can fall back on these people to cheer you up.
Thank you for the well wishes, the texts, the phone call (oh my the phone call, I’m touched. Thank you again). Your prayers were what shaped me up to pull through.
All the days spent together, I wish for better
but I didn’t want the train to come,
Now it’s departed
I’m broken hearted, seems like we never started.
All those things here together, when I wished for better
And I didn’t want the train to come ~ Warwick Avenue, Duffy