If I Were A Boy

1 – … I’d try peeing standing. That’d be a feat. No more worries about public toilet seat germs.

2 – … I’d try one of the infamous hoots and teasing remarks such as ‘Hai cik adik manis, jalan sorang-sorang tu nak pergi mana?’ and see what the hype it’s all about.

3 – … I’d so go for boxers. Jimat takyah beli Kotex tiap-tiap bulan.

4 – … I’d finally have the guts to tell the Greek girl I was crushing that ‘You’re one of the coolest girls I’ve ever known’.

5 – … maybe I’d try going a full day just sporting my favorite boxers, without combing my hair and sit on my ass whole day playing GTA and FIFA.

6 – … I could easily sustain on nasik bungkus and teh tarik forever.

7 – … going back to girls, I’d probably have Megax Fox in her two-piece as my desktop wallpaper. Or maybe Jessica Alba in her Bodyrockers getup. I can’t decide.

8 – … I’d have a much easier time buying clothes for myself. Grab the safest color-coordination on the counter and pay. Oh yeah, no multilayer clothing for me please. Just a t-shirt and jeans. Maybe a hat.

9 – … I’d have special coded ring tones. ‘Hey Song’ for my aces, Usher’s Nice N Slow for chicks I want to talk to, The Undertaker’s Theme Song for chicks I don’t want to talk to.

10 – … I’d ditch my daily moisturiser and trade it for more boxes of Cheerios. Takde kaitan langsung, I know.

11 – … I could diss the footie players all I want without gathering much unneeded attention to myself while watching football at the stadium.

12 – … I could shower for just under three minutes and nobody would question my hygiene.

13 – … I would ask my best girl Akmal out. Hahha.

Just crazy fun here while trying to keep it PG-13. Hehhe. Nothing heavy. Nope, not going for a transgender surgery in Bangkok any time soon. Not ever. I had thought If I Were A Boy was a fun song, didn’t think it’d turn out so depressing. Potong btol. So I reckoned I’d give it a whole new light. Baby B, not all boys are like the one that you sing about. Cut them some slack. I happen to have awesome guys around: my ayah, my brothers especially my overprotective adik, my best friend, classmates, old childhood friends. Maybe you’d have a better luck next time, B.

Below here is especially for Nore, Hihi. I know you have all the time in the world to find a translation for this.

yaaroa yaaroadi onnoada purusan
yaaroa yaaroadi un thimirukku arasan
yaaroa yaaroadi onnoada purusan
yaaroa yaaroadi un thimirukku arasan

eekki poala laavadikka indhiranaar pandhadikka
andhap pandhai theerththadippavanoa sollu
sandhanap pottazhagai saanja nadaiyazhagai
velli vaetti kattiyavanoa sollu ~ Yaro Yarodei from the movie Alai Payuthey.


5 thoughts on “If I Were A Boy

  1. rbs says:

    here here! no bras, no periods, no pre-period emoness, AND i could marry my best friend. win-win-win-win situation. hahaha.

    saya pun tak suka lagu beyonce ni sgt. depressing je lebih.

  2. mary says:

    HAHAHAHAHAH LaiLy! this post was excellent!!!! i had so much fun reading and laughing!! thank u for lighting up my dreary day!!!
    yeah man, i so understand no.11!

  3. nore: wahhahha, anything to give you cramps, baby (okay, now sound sungguh luar alam and perverted. muehhehe). nanti2 i bagi you another tamil lyric trivia ok?

    ctdalilah: adoyai, dah tak PG-13. muehhehe yeshhh i could so do without the bra!

    rbs: btol, btol, setuju on all 4 accounts. and mmg depressing je lebih, tahape-hape.

    mary: thank you? hahhaha i’m sorry you had a dready day, dear, hopefully next time pun i could provide a spirit uplift for you. and yes, power to no 11!

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