I don’t drink and drive. Heck, I don’t even drive (nor drink either!). I don’t embezzle money from any funds, I don’t cheat (at least outrageously, does that count?) and I’ve never killed a single breathing soul before (exceptions to the worms I accidentally stepped on during last month’s rain washout, which almost doesn’t count since worms do not have soul, do they?)
But somehow, I manage to mess with the law. Whoever says messing with them is cool, I beg to differ.
1. I started out early, in Form 2. I didn’t hang out in arcades. I didn’t make out in some random bushes with the boys from our brother’s school. In fact, I was the epitome of a perfect child (insert gagging sound here). It was an off day since Form 3 needed the classroom space for PMR, so my friends and I hit the town (tak ke mana pun, pi kedai buku Star Company je). We were walking merrily across the Padang Merdeka (Kuchingites would know, depan St. Thom’s church ya ba) when an officer stopped us. He accused us of playing hooky and we explained how the school gave us a day off. Cliff Notes’ version: he gave us the standard jungkit kening, hauled our asses to the nearest police station and called the school. The highlights of the whole predicament was seeing the smug smirk dropping off his face once our principal confirmed that Form 2s indeed were having a day off. To save face, he said he still couldn’t let us roam free, so he decided to ring our parents up. Let’s just say my dad wasn’t so happy that day. And the rest of the week. He wasn’t a man of many words but this phrase always stood out, “I have three sons and it was my only daughter who ever got remanded. Go figure.”
2. It was still not entirely my fault the second time around. Okay, maybe it was. We just wanted to buy neskopi from kedai belakang rumah, for God’s sake. So my adik and I rode his bike without our helmets. Nak dijadikan cerita, ada la hamba Allah yang rajin sangat pulak buat part time was sentrying the area. So we ended up doing multiple laps around the neighborhood, neskopi yang panas terus jadi sejuk. But it was worth it cause if we didn’t, Kerol was pretty intent to make me pay for the 60 hengget saman cause I was the one who told him to ditch the helmet. Yep, my adik, the law abider.
3. The third time around, it was on international ground. I went into details in my old blog, about how a friend’s passport lacked the required visa to enter Slovakia, so I volunteered to bunk in with her in the balai before we were deported. As if that wasn’t odd enough, I was interviewed by kakak imigresen while retrieving my new passport last year. “Kenapa awak kena tahan dekat err, apa nama tempat tu, Cina-Tisu? (Cierna Nad Tisou). Awak bawak dadah ke?” Wow, what a way to be subtle.
Again, ayah cakap, “Aku ada 3 anak laki, tapi yang pompuan ni jugak tido balai.” What can I say? It takes talent.
4. Fourth time wins the cake. I must say I’ve never been one of the most popular girls around, never in high school, apatah lagi in uni, so to have a stalker was a pretty big feat (haha). Taking heed of my neighbor cum deputy chief police of Angsanapura’s advice, I filed an official report. I must say playing victim doesn’t become me. I need to take acting class of being helpless one of these days.
5. Refer to last entry.
See? I am a law-abiding, tax-paying (okay, my part is still being paid by ayah, technicalities) citizen. Percayalah.
P/S: Last night’s game was pure crap. Buat penat je rugi dua jam tido. And Riise, RIP. May God bless your soul.